til it hits me

it's been really awhile i've not been feeling this way.. well, it finally hits me back in a sudden.. it's pretty depressing in a way...

usually i feel nothing, when i see things like this, but it's different this time.. i'm so affected by it.. it makes me feel envy in some way.. like, the question pops up, asking, where is mine? when will it be?

it's pretty sad...

no matter how tough life is, life still goes one

after one "reality" has gone.. another new one will definitely come up.. perhaps this is not something new, but it has always been there, it's juz tht i seem to be running away from it, hiding myself from it.. life is always better when u try to avoid reality n keep urself in the blanket, living in ur own imaginary world.. it's always best to be tht way...

it's always ez to tell others wat to do n wat should not do... but it's always hardest when it
s happening to myself... it's not ez!

but think about it, in life.. there's nothing ez.. but life would still have to go on no matter how tough life is..

it's ez to tell someone to go on pursuing their dreams but it's actually not ez at all for one self to pursue it's dream..

i have a dream, but, to me, my dream seems like it's going to be forever a dream.. a dream tht can never come true... it needs alot of passion for me to get my dreams real.. but no matter wat, life has to go on.. in order for me to get to my dream n make it real, i would still need to go on doing the things im doing now.. i cant let go doing wat i am doing for the time being, as even though, today, for me doing wat i am doing, is also part of my choice, something which i had choosed to do.. i cant juz let it go when i say i have my dreams.. in order to make my dreams come true, i cant let go wat i have n wat i'm doing rite now.. this is not rite at all!

well, i dunno..

but wat u have been worry all these while.. a dream tht i had finally got up from.. i really finally got up from it.. feeling a lot more relieved.. :)

life must go on no matter how n wat

reality can never be avoided

when it's time to dream.. we'll juz dream.. when it's time to wake up, its juz time to wake up! when it comes to reality.. tht is when u cant seem to avoid it...

facing the reality, is always not an ez thing to do.. as at times, it might be hurtful, n at times, it might be wonderful!

but when we talk about reality, we often relates it to disappointment n sadness.. tt is, for now.. to me it seems like waking up from a sweet dream returning to the real world ie: reality..

at times, in order to pull urself out from a dream which isnt belongs to u after all, is kinda tough though, it might be disappointing plus a little hurtful feeling too.. but somehow this will bring to a good ending to all involved! those disappointment will not last forever but it will last for sometime only then it will recover.

it's always better to be this way in the beginning, noeing tt u r basically not in the right dream than being more hurtful not only to urself but to the others in latter days.. this ending might be harsh a little, perhaps bringing some negative impacts on me, but, at least, this dream will somehow end someday as after all, it wasnt suppose to appear after all.. a dream will always remain as dream!

returning into reality is quite sad.. but it's always better to be sad now, than being devastated later..

waking up from a dream returning into reality somehow feels like a bird being kept in a cage for a long time being freed ... returning to where it belong.. well, though, it might face lots n lots of obstacle, but no matter wat.. its being freed from a place where it wasnt the place it wanna be at after all! a place where has never after all belongs to it!

it's always hope tt everything will have a happy ending.. but this may only happens in fairy tale.. as again, reality is always reality.. most of the times, not all will end up in a good ending.. but then again, we gotta look at things in different angles as Everything Happens For A Reason!

reasons for which had happened

it juz started not long ago.. a month ago.. well it happened pretty fast.. to me it really seems like a dream..

a dream will always remain as dream, which is unlikely to come true n hardly will come true..

but there r certain dreams which would come true, when u believe! but definitely it's not this type of dream :)

i'd always wanted to be in this kinda "dream" all these while .. n finally, it seems like a dream come true and finally im in it, being the main "actress" well, but the main "actor" is not wat i wanted.. perhaps, after having this "dream" making me realizing wat kinda dream i've always asking for n wanted all my life..

when im not dreaming of it, im asking to dream about it
but when im really in this dream, i wanted to pull myself out of it!

perhaps, im juz asking for too much, n im those type whose not easily being satisfied.. or maybe im too demanding in this kinda "dream" ...

or maybe not.. im juz taking my time to realized wat kinda "Dream" tht im actually looking for.. wit this kinda "passer-by" would make me realized tht things i want/ i actually wanted in my life.. only then i noe exactly wat im pursuing for in life..

realizing tt in a way making my life easier, as i noe wat i want.. but on the other and, it makes my life miserable, as in, where do i get it ? n how ? is not ez!

when it's time to pull myself out of the "dream" of course, i do feel a little reluctant to do, even though it's not the dream im asking for.. feeling like, when u let go, when would u get this kinda dream again? even though knowing its not the rite dream!

i noe, this is selfish.. but it's juz a feeling..

but then again, i had let go realized tht it is the right time to wake up, n pull myself out from a dream which it wasnt wat im looking for.. without wanting to waste time!

having getting confirmation, realizing wat i really n actually wanted.. really freed me from a whole lot of burden! *maybe* but i really do, feel much better after pulling myself out from the world of confusion! somehow, i wish tht tht dream i used to be in, will stop chasing my n catch me in again.. :) i noe it will, soon...

to me everything happens for a reason! it's the matter of how do i wanna look at it... it's all my prerogative :)